About project
My daughter, when she was 6 or 7 years old, was building a very strange collection: scraps of paper, crumpled grocery store queue tickets, disposable gloves from the supermarket, cardboard popcorn cups from the cinema, napkins from cafes, stones from every trip to the beach that looked virtually identical, and leaves and sticks from every walk in the woods.
Along with dozens of other artifacts in the exact same vein. Throwing away what was—to an adult's eye—outright trash was strictly forbidden. Objects that seemed identical to anyone else were, to her, entirely unique and irreplaceable. Amusingly, at one point this impulse to preserve the utterly insignificant reached the level of absurdity: a suspicious odor began emanating from her bedroom. It turned out that uneaten bits of food had also been deemed worthy of memory—pie crumbs, a bitten apple that turned out not to be sweet, shriveled popcorn kernels. For this portion of the collection, we had to invent a different method of archiving: photographs. Soon, our phone galleries were filled with these strange still lifes.
My daughter’s collection—or rather, anti-collection—was simultaneously sentimental and severe. After all, what was being preserved were not traditional "keepsakes" whose weathered beauty might acquire nostalgic value over time, but items destined for oblivion: anonymous, useless, random. The kind of things that make up the vast majority of our world.
It is said that children at this age begin to grasp the finitude of existence—the impermanence of everything. Likely, this practice of holding onto the trivial was her way of fighting fear at that moment: the fear that everything you see will one day vanish forever. It is an essential stage of growing up that everyone must pass through—ideally coming to terms with the idea of mortality and discovering other values and meanings along the way. Back then, what I saw in her collection inspired both admiration and deep empathy. And of course, throughout life, we are forced to pass through such thresholds again and again. Personal crises are simply echoes and re-enactments of that initial encounter with our own limitations and our helplessness before the unfairness of how the world is built.
And over the past four years, events in the world have thrown me—and I know not just me, but many of us—back into that primal state of childhood helplessness in the face of absurdity, cruelty, and forces far greater than ourselves.
In a strange way, these painful experiences ultimately brought me back to my origins, to those early, "childlike" ways of coping—to creation. Because the only thing we can set against chaos and destruction is the act of creating. I began to paint as I did in childhood: without hesitation or self-reflection, for hours on end. Not painting anything specific, but simply painting—being, inhabiting the state of painting. Immersing myself in it.
Gradually, the range of tools and techniques expanded: collage, chemical experiments (another childhood passion!), exploring the interaction between paper, paint, and practically anything else. The main requirement was that a new meaning, a new story, had to emerge from this interaction.
Iodine, sumi ink, soap bubbles, glue, rust—random, dependent elements, much like the items in my daughter’s collection. On their own, they serve at best a simple function, their direct purpose far removed from art. Yet, as it turned out, searching for my own language led me precisely to them. Because, as it turns out, I still refuse to accept the idea of the finitude of existence if that acceptance implies resignation and accommodating oneself to the boundaries of what is possible. Because such resignation demands dividing all of existence into the important and the unimportant, the useful and the useless, the valuable and the trash. And that would be far too simple, wouldn't it?
It seems to me that everything matters—everything you remember, everything you feel, everything you notice, and everything you fail to notice. Especially what you fail to notice. Every single minute of time matters; it is beyond measure. We often speak of this with a kind of mechanical regret—after all, what can we really do? In the game against time, we are all bound to lose.
And yet, I want to believe that fighting is not the only way to exist. Assembling a new pattern from fragments of the past and the present, the real and the imagined—this is my way of expressing the incomprehensible complexity of this world, and capturing the beauty that makes this complexity bearable to carry.